Greetings EsaRa,

I’m very grateful to your willingness to answer my question. It has to do with my feelings for the last several months. I feel at peace yet an underlying depression. I feel excited by ideas yet find myself glued to the couch. I feel that I could run a mile yet am too tired to go on a walk. All of these feelings leave me stranded in the middle. What is going on here?

Thank you,
- L

Dear L:

What you are experiencing is something that many are going through at this time. You have been working on creating an environment for yourself in which the ego mind is no longer your master. Once your ego begins to realize that it is no longer in control, and has created as many distractions and misdirections that it can, you begin to allow it to fall asleep. Thus some of what in life has been a catalyst for you to be excited about, the excitement of life, begins to fade.

Do not despair. You see, the ego does use excitement to keep you going and going and doing and doing, and once it loses its hold on you, the experience of depression seems to set in. Depression always comes when we are asked to give up something, yes. Do not despair, enthusiasm for life will return soon.

You see, enthusiasm for life comes from spirit, and has with it a wonderful new way of experiencing life. You will find soon that your creative energy and flow will return, and with it the desire, the intent and purpose to express yourself again. For now, it is OK. Just rest and allow the process to unfold for you. Continue to seek an expanded awareness of God. Use this so-called “down time” to reconnect with your spiritual nature, read wonderful inspiring books or write one yourself. A new energy will return to you soon, one that is sourced from God and spirit, and not ego. It will have with it a comforting tone, a relaxing, less goal-oriented experience. You will begin to experience life as God expressing itself through you, instead of you seeking to experience yourself as God.

Listen, this is so very important, wake up here and pay attentions. For so long, you all have been told to “experience yourself as God.” This cannot be, as you would then be limited to experience life within the parameters of your thinking mind. That has boundaries. However, if you allow God to experience itself through you, do you see? That is unlimited, as God knows itself to be unlimited. Then you will come from a place of wonderful expression, driving creative energy, love, and compassion, achieving uncommon feats that will astound you and all those around you. Just breathe, and surrender to allowing God to experience itself as YOU. How magnificent your life will be.

We are incomplete without your being,
-EsaRa